


The Lives of Survivors

by RattyCatty



Category: Resident Evil (Movieverse)
Genre: 100 Themes Challenge, Angst, Challenges, F/F, Fluff, Love, One Shot Collection, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:06:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2243520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RattyCatty/pseuds/RattyCatty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of oneshots of various genres, inspired by AleGirl's 100 Themes challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hope

**Author's Note:**

> They don't particularly follow on from each other, so don't feel as if you have to read all 100 (if I ever get them all done). For the sake of making it easier for me to write, I've kept some of the convoy members alive longer than they actually were and in all of these, Alice and Claire are already in a relationship of sorts. These stories will include swearing and some sexually suggestive content. Chapters containing potentially triggering material will have a warning at the beginning.

Somewhere in the middle of the Nevada desert, two women lay side by side on cool sand, the starry night sky hanging above them.

"You really think Alaska's free of infection?" The redhead murmured quietly so as not to wake the nearby convoy, her voice apprehensive. Strong muscles were tensed despite the serenity of the current moment. Such tranquility was rare these days, chased away by persistent fears of the undead and lack of supplies, and ever-present anxiety made it hard to truly relax when there was an occasional calm moment. The fierce leader found it especially hard, the needs of the convoy constantly hanging over her head like a dark cloud. While the leader found a certain amount of reassurance leading the group of survivors, it weighed heavy on her and never ceased its bitter grating on her psyche.

The dirty blonde gazed up at the vast sky coolly, features composed and body relaxed, the very picture of ataraxy. "That's what the journal said," she replied huskily, her answer short and unrevealing as usual as soft eyes surveyed the sky, lost within the twinkling brightness of the stars above. "All the shit down here, yet the stars still shine as brightly as they did before," she said lowly, mind wandering amongst the celestial bodies.

Claire took a minute to lose herself in the same maze of jewels as her blonde companion before persisting with her questions. "But what do _you_ think? About Alaska?"

Resigning herself to the weighty conversation, she removed herself from the peace of the night sky and rolled on to her side to face the redhead, propping herself up on one elbow, watching the other woman mirror her position before speaking. "It would make sense. It's removed from the rest of the world, and there wasn't lot of people there before the outbreak," the blonde reasoned, searching the tense face of her redhead familiar. "You think the infection would have reached that far since the diary was written," she stated, frowning softly.

Nodding, the leader clarified, her voice rising slightly in stress, "We have no way of knowing if the infection has reached that far until we get there, when it'll be too late. It puts the entire convoy at risk, Alice. These people chose me as their leader. I have to look after them."

"When you asked them, those people also made the decision to travel to Alaska. They told you what they want. Even if the infection reached Alaska, the cold would freeze the infected in no time. Even if it didn't, there would be few enough for us to take care of quickly and easily. The only other option is to keep travelling aimlessly like we have been for god knows how long," Alice paused to gauge her fellow comrade's reaction. "These people need hope, Claire. Most of them lost it long ago. They need a goal, something to look forward to. What is there out here for them? They have confidence in you as their leader, and so do I. Claire, you're a good person; the best I've met in a long, long time. You'll make the right decision," Alice assured, her voice intense and passionate.

The blonde's burst of profound honesty startled the redhead into silence for several long moments, her face softening into an expression of gratitude and love. Her insides hummed nervously in reaction to the rush of information, particularly the sincere, unforeseen expression of faith from her often-stoic other half. Realising the other woman made strong points, her lips twitched into a small smile, eyes warm and tender. "Even after years alone, you always know the right thing to say," she said gently.

Ironically unsure of what to say in reply to the quiet compliment, she merely shot Claire a soft grin and moved closer, tilting her head and brushing her lips over the miraculously soft lips of the redhead in a chaste but intimate kiss.

Pulling the dirty blonde closer, the redhead leant her own forehead softly against the other woman's forehead, a hand on her jaw and murmured softly, "For Alaska."

Somewhere in the Nevada desert, two women held each other close, sharing one another's warmth, the starry night sky hanging above them.


	2. Grave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's sort of angsty.

Claire Redfield stood alone as the hot sun set fast, cloaking the camp in darkness.

The other survivors were gathered around roaring campfires, hungrily finishing off their daily rations, attempting to make nonsense conversation to take their minds off the day's losses and keep morale as high as it could possibly be after losing a good ten people to the undead horrors of the world they lived in. The children were tucked up in vehicles, lost in the wraps of sleep, wandering through dream worlds, while adults began wearily making preparations to go to sleep.

Not Claire Redfield; away from the few remaining survivors milling around before bed, she stood solemnly, feet planted in the sand, hands behind her back, a line of crude graves stretching out in front of her. Her head bowed as she swore a silent prayer for the dead. She wasn't religious - if there was a God, how could He let this happen to the world? - but she wished to pay her respects to the friends lost, and praying for them seemed the right thing to do.

Lifting her head finally, she swept the makeshift graveyard with her eyes, allowing herself to relieve old memories of each lost soul, each of them strong and brilliant in their own way, each bringing a different talent to the convoy, each dearly missed. She remembered how she found each of them, introduced them to the convoy, looked after them, watched as they'd formed relationships with other survivors, and how she'd finally pulled the trigger when she couldn't stop them turning into the thing that every one of them lived in fear of becoming.

It was times like this that made her wish someone else was the leader. She needed the convoy as much as they needed her; the convoy made her feel useful and brought her ever closer to finding her brother at long last, and in return, she kept the survivors alive. At times like this, however, she felt like giving it all up. Memories of loading her Glock, pressing it to the soft temple of each of the survivors and apologising softly before pulling the trigger twisted her stomach in ways she didn't know were possible. It never got any easier, either. Every executed survivor weighed heavily on her, and the guilt of not being able to save them built up in toxic amounts.

Clenching her teeth, she forced hot tears away, determined to keep it under wraps until every single survivor had gone to bed. Only then would she be alone and only then could she let go. If anyone suspected for a minute that their leader was weakening, things would no doubt start slipping, people would start dying and everything they'd built would fall apart.

Lost in her dark thoughts, she didn't hear the quiet footfalls of someone approaching until they were upon her.

"They were good people we lost today," a low female voice murmured. Alice; the one exception to the rules she set herself to keep order in the convoy, the one person who didn't want to take from her, the one person who she could be honest around.

"They really were," the leader agreed in a soft voice, tones of guilt and self-loathing in her voice.

Picking up on her friend's angst, she whispered, "It's not your fault, you know." Alice continued staring at the graves, trying to sooth Claire by not putting all of her attention on her, knowing she likely wasn't proud of being seen in such a vulnerable position, even by someone whom she was open with.

The redhead paused for a long while before replying darkly, "I pulled the trigger. I couldn't keep them safe, and I pulled the fucking trigger on them because of it." Her hands had balled into tight fists by her sides, and her teeth were gritted tightly together.

"You had no choice; they were already infected. You did the right thing," Alice reassured, her voice calm and sincere. She knew from experience how hard it was to kill infected friends, as early as the Hive incident when she couldn't save Rain from her ghastly fate. She also knew what happened when you let them live, and that, while painful, it was a lot safer to kill one infected than leave them alive (ish) and let the infection spread.

"I should have kept them safe in the first place. They put their lives in my hands and I let them die," Claire insisted, voice cracking slightly as a lump rose in her throat. She cursed internally as tears stung her eyes. Oh god, not here, not now, please. She hoped to god that all the survivors were asleep in their vehicles by now, because all the strength in the world would not stop the tears now.

Hearing the faulter in the other woman's voice, Alice swore she felt her heart break inside herself. Reaching out towards the redhead, she wrapped her arms around her slim body and held her against her own.

Alice's strong hug was the last straw. As the leader held onto the blonde as tight as physically possible, burying her face in the crook of Alice's neck, one hot tear spilled down her cheek and soaked into the soft material of Alice's overshirt, then another and another until she was weeping silently, her lover holding her in a tight embrace, allowing her to cry it all out, murmuring loving words softly into her ear.

"You're not alone anymore, Claire," the blonde whispered softly as Claire Redfield held onto her for dear life, the moon reflecting delicate white light on the pair.


	3. Rose

The camp stirred softly as the final wakeful survivors ambled around, checking on their young ones and organising sleeping arrangements for the night, hot fires filling the space with a warm glow. The atmosphere was calm, as calm as it could possibly be in this age ruled by death and decay, and pleasant, hushed laughter could be heard if you listened closely. Claire Redfield strolled through the cluster of vehicles, in search of one particular blonde.

Having not seen the woman since the blonde had left yesterday morning to go on a raid with Carlos and LJ, she was slightly uneasy. While Claire knew that Alice could handle herself, she couldn't help but worry about her whereabouts; she was all too familiar with Alice's habit of getting herself caught up in compromising situations. Eyes scanning every shadow, the leader was beginning to wonder if her partner was around their current camping site at all, until she spotted the dirty blonde laughing heartily with Carlos, the brawny ex-Umbrella soldier.

Hanging in the shadows for moments, the redhead watched the exchange from a distance. Alice so often looked tormented by violent guilt and echoes of her gory past, the burden of being more than human dragging her down into the dry desert sand; the instants when she genuinely shed her misery were golden, and Claire treasured them.

The two were situated near Mikey's news van, seeming to have stopped wandering to allow their light-hearted banter to intensify. Alice laughed throatily at something the tall man had said, her shoulders shaking with unadulterated amusement. Carlos' own deep laugh sounded as the slight blonde shoved at his shoulder playfully, a wide grin on her face. Shaking her head, a last chuckle escaped her before she smirked impishly, uttering something inaudible from Claire's position a distance away before turning on her heels and trudging away through the sand.

A glowing smile on her lips, Claire moved out of the shadows and towards the blonde, winding her arms around the woman's trim waist, pulling Alice's back tight to her front. "Boo," she whispered devilishly, lips a hair's breadth away from the blonde's ear.

Alice shuddered as she felt the redhead's hot breath spill into her ear, goosebumps rising on her skin. Even though she'd heard Claire coming, the woman's flirtatious gesture temporarily immobilised her, snatching away whatever smart-ass comment she might have come out with. After a moment, she shook herself free of the redhead's spell and spun in her arms so she was facing the fierce leader, pulling gentle hands from her waist, capturing her wrists and holding them tightly in the air, their faces inches apart, bodies pressed together, the tension almost tangible. "Got ya," she growled, a smirk on her face.

The redhead felt the air knocked from her lungs, the blonde's dominating actions and flirtatious smirk making her breathless. She watched the other woman's smirk soften into a loving smile, heart fluttering in her chest as her wrists were released and Alice's calloused palms moved to cup her face, dipping her head to kiss her softly, before pulling away and bringing her hands down to link with Claire's.

"Come to bed?" Claire murmured, glancing up at Alice with bright eyes and eyebrows raised, heat stirring deep inside her.

Alice smiled apologetically, rubbing her thumbs over the leader's hands. "I have to see K-Mart quickly, but get settled in to the Hummer, and I'll be there in a few."

The Redfield nodded, smiling as the ex-project turned and began walking towards the campfire where she knew K-Mart would be sitting, attempting to read in the light of the fire. She suspected Alice had found the teenager some more books while out on the raid. The blonde teen got through a lot of books, and often had to resort to reading and rereading books she'd already finished more than once. Books to her were what cigarettes were to Claire Redfield; a necessity.

Making her way back to the old reliable Hummer that she called home, she watched small groups of survivors talk and smile, despite the world they lived in. It was uplifting.

Pulling open the Hummer door, Claire noticed a bright red that was out of place in the dusty, washed-out scenery of the desert. A closer look showed it to be a single velvety rose, bright crimson, all petals still intact and thriving. The redhead's eyes fluttered shut as she delicately picked up the thing of beauty and inhaled its heady scent. God, she hadn't smelt anything so good in years. Carefully placing the rose down, her eyes moved across the seat, and what she saw made her pinch herself, fearing that she was dreaming. When she was sure she was awake, she moved to pick up the smooth cardboard box; an unopened box of Marlboro cigarettes, one of the big boxes that could be bought from duty-free shops in airports before the outbreak.

Claire breathed a disbelieving laugh as she removed the first golden cigarette from the box and lit up, closing her eyes and letting out a moan as she savoured the taste of tobacco after being without it for so long. There was only one person who could possibly have found the gifts, and Claire vowed to reward her greatly when she had completed the book-giving mission.


	4. Wind

The wind outside howled, rocking the robust Hummer from side to side, throwing the dry desert dust around like a plaything. Vehicles creaked and groaned in protest, and Claire knew a check would be in order in the morning to avoid being caught out while they were on the move.

In the front seat of the H2, the redhead slumped uncomfortably, eyes shut, arms wrapped around herself in an attempt to keep warm while she tried to sleep. While the heat was sweltering during the day, temperatures plummeted as soon as the sun went down. Tonight was particularly harsh, as the frigid air whipped up in strong winds, creeping into every nook and cranny, dragging icy fingers over every surface. Sighing, Claire opened her eyes and peeked at Alice from under her sage green baseball cap.

The blonde was slouched in the seat besides the redhead, back to the window, head resting sideways on the chair's headrest. Her azure eyes rested on her partner, watching her, wondering whether to comfort the obviously-cold woman or to leave her on the off chance that she was already asleep. Seeing the redhead exhale roughly and open green eyes decided it.

"Hey," she whispered softly. "Get in the back." While her words may have sounded demanding and unkind in another context, the ex-project's gentle voice was full of love.

Claire shot the blonde a confused look, but proceeded to climb out of the vehicle and back into the rear seat anyway. A moment later, the other woman was crawling into the back with her, positioning them so they were stretched across the seat, the redhead's back to the blonde.

"C'mere," Alice murmured, pulling Claire into her arms so their bodies were pressed tight together. The leader sighed softly, running her hands over the strong arms around her, a small smile on her lips. She felt Alice's body heat seep into her, warming every inch of her body. She wondered briefly how Alice managed to remain so warm even when it was so cold everywhere else, before deciding it didn't matter how she did it, because right then she was just grateful for the comfort. The blonde's heat worked its way into the redhead's muscles, massaging them, working out the kinks left from the day's work.

"God, I love you," Claire sighed, eyelids beginning to fall closed, sleep coming readily now she was warm and calm. The blonde chuckled lowly, her hot breath tickling the leader's neck, warming her even further. Claire's world was hazy with drowsiness, and her mind was foggy. She willingly embraced it, the blissful peace unbelievably welcome after so many sleepless nights due to the stress of leadership.

Claire Redfield was vaguely aware of the wind moaning outside and her lover murmuring in her ear, "I love you too," before slumber claimed her and she was cloaked in oblivion.


	5. Whisper - NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut.

"Keep quiet," Alice breathed, her breath hot against the redhead's neck, making the woman's hair stand on end. The blonde's hips kept Claire's front pressed against the wall, one hand absently trailing up and down the leader's side, creeping under the bottom of her dirty tank top. Alice's other hand clasped Claire's tightly above them, for which Claire was grateful as she feared her knees would buckle without her lover's support.

Claire nodded quickly, although she couldn't swallow her whimper when the other woman's cool hand found its way to a milky white breast and began massaging it. Jolts of electricity ran through the redhead's body, terminating between her legs, where heat throbbed heavily. As soon as she realised her mistake, the redhead clamped her mouth shut, painfully aware of the rest of the convoy just outside; the thin walls would allow for some soft noises, but nothing more. While this knowledge forced the leader to at least attempt to contain her moans, it also sent a new wave of arousal flooding over her, the danger turning her on even more.

Alice began placing hot, open-mouthed kisses up the leader's neck, her rough tongue occasionally snaking out and tasting salty skin, hand never ceasing its exploration of the leader's upper body. Excitement rose inside of her as she heard her lover's breaths quicken, and she moved her hand lower to toy with the hem of the woman's combat trousers. Caressing the soft skin of Claire's abdomen, she twisted round to reach the redhead's mouth with her own, kissing her hard from behind, their mouths moving together, heavy breaths passing between them.

Distracting Claire with slow, agonisingly delicious movements of her tongue, she pushed her hand into the woman's underwear, rubbing along the very edges of the apex of her legs, so as to induce further excitement, but deny the redhead of further pleasure until the blonde heard what she wanted to hear.

Claire's breath caught in her throat as Alice's hands played in her underwear, teasing painfully. "Alice, oh god," she murmured, voice wobbly and uneven as she brought her own hand back to her breasts, attempting to pleasure herself but only frustrating herself further.

"Tell me how much you want me," the blonde growled lowly, biting on the redhead's earlobe softly, smirking devilishly when she sensed the effect her words had on her partner.

"Fuck, Alice, I want you so much," Claire whispered, a quiet groan escaping her as the blonde's fingers inched closer to where she needed her most. " _Fuck me_ , Alice."

Arousal hitting her like a train as Claire uttered those words, Alice gave in, dipping her fingers into Claire's wetness, sliding rough fingertips over the sensitive bundle of nerves. Claire moaned loudly into the blonde's mouth as she kissed her roughly, fingers pushing inside her while her thumb kept rubbing her clit.

The redhead's arousal mounted and mounted as the dirty blonde moved inside her, stroking her, curling and stretching to reach the responsive spot that was so often missed by less-thorough partners. Before she knew it, she was coming hard, body shaking, back arched, biting down forcefully on her own hand to stop herself from crying out.

Alice allowed Claire to ride out her high before removing her fingers and licking them clean, spinning the redhead so they were facing again, kissing her softly as she rubbed her thumb softly over the woman's hands. "God, I love you," she whispered huskily.

Still unable to form sentences after the soaring peak Alice had brought her to, Claire simply hugged the blonde tightly, face buried in the taller woman's neck.


	6. Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My good friend @imogenisahobbit came up with the idea for this one.

At some point during the day, the mysterious blonde, Alice, had snuck off to the outskirts of the camp so she could work out with her kukri knives and get lost in the power without worrying about hurting any nearby survivors; it wasn't as if she needed the exercise, as the virus in her body kept her in tip-top condition, but it was comforting, a stress reliever, and soothed the anxiety that was brought on by staying with such a large group of people for so long and lengthy amounts of time with few things to kill.

Removing her coat and dropping it on the ground, she began to twirl and twist, almost as if she was dancing a deadly dance, kukris slicing viciously at the air, feral growls ripping through her body as she executed each movement perfectly. The blonde leaped into the air, whirling around, sending kicks flying at non-existent monsters, a rough exhale escaping her as she landed back down on the dusty ground on two feet. She lost herself in the burning ache of her muscles and the feeling of cool air rushing around her body. Pent-up rage flared up explosively before slowly ebbed away, anxiety cooling until she felt almost human again, free from the shit that made her a ghost of her former-self.

After she had worked herself to the bone, the blonde settled down on the warm sand, revelling in the rare peace she felt as her sweating body cooled down.

She'd lost track of time, but she guessed it was late as the temperature continued to drop and the sky became pink and hazy, the scorching sun setting behind light, fluffy clouds. The blonde glanced down at the digital watch hanging from her belt, surprised when it was later than she'd thought. Rising from the ground with ease and pausing to stretch out her muscles, Alice scanned the ground for her coat. She furrowed her brow as she surveyed the area again, and then once more. There was no sign of the beaten up coat anywhere.

Moving around the immediate area, and then slightly further out, she muttered to herself as she searched. She was sure she'd left it next to her while working out, and she couldn't figure out where it could have got to. A frown etched onto her face, she decided to go back to the camp and look around, just in case.

After several laps of the camp, she slumped down onto a conveniently-placed rock and sighed heavily, head down, leaning on her legs. Alice couldn't understand where it had gone. Frustration rose as she went through all the possibilities in her head, over and over - that was it! The only place she had yet to check was the back of the Hummer. She had peered into the front of the vehicle to no avail, but hadn't even thought to check the back for fear of disturbing the sleeping redhead inside. Alice had ordered Claire to rest for a while when they stopped, Carlos agreeing and even promising to take care of the convoy so she wouldn't have to; lack of supplies had made the last few days stressful, and the tense leader had been sleeping less than ever. The stubborn woman had been obdurate at first, but when the blonde reminded her that "tiredness can kill" and her second-in-command had offered to look after the convoy, she reluctantly gave in.

Alice made her way to the robust vehicle, praying her beloved coat would be there. Peering into the vehicle through the grille on the window, her face softened until a stupid grin broke out across it, her heart warming at what she saw.

Inside the car was Claire, curled up on the backseat, arms tangled in thick, tan fabric, fingers gripping the folds tightly, holding it close. Her face was buried in the material of the coat, as if the leader was trying to burrow into it, bright red hair disheveled and tousled, her chest rising and falling gently. The blonde's enhanced hearing allowed her to pick up the redhead's soft snoring, a small hum escaping the woman as she stirred slightly, almost as if she could sense her blonde lover nearby. The woman looked completely at peace, her face soft, a hint of a smile on her perfect lips, all worries lost for the moment as she immersed herself in the scent that lingered on her lover's coat, inhaling the musky aroma with each relaxed breath.

Alice chuckled quietly, a smile of adoration still etched onto her face. She could live without her coat for now.


	7. Question

"Hey, Claire! Can I ask you something?" a young voice piped up. The slight blonde to whom it belonged to approached from behind the redhead and plopped down on the large fallen tree which was being used as a makeshift bench. She clutched an open can of food in one hand, and a steel spoon in the other, waving erratically in the excited teenager's grip.

With brows furrowed in confusion and lips curled up in amusement, Claire nodded and uttered a quick "sure", glancing at her young friend before pushing another spoonful of soft canned meat into her mouth. The salty meat made her grimace slightly as its sliminess coated her tongue, but she repressed her queasiness, knowing none of them had any choice if they wanted to survive.

"When are you going to admit to Alice that you love her?" K-Mart asked innocently, then frowned and added, "Or have you already? Oh my god." The redhead coughed and spluttered as the shock caused her to choke on her food, eyes wide in surprise. Sipping quickly from her canteen and clearing her throat, she recovered enough to question the blonde.

"K, wha- where did you get that idea? Why would you think that?" she murmured, forcing her voice to remain level and trying desperately not to expose her lying by overdoing it. Claire's hands shook ever so slightly as she prayed the blonde wouldn't see through her; the teen could be extremely perceptive at times.

The blonde appeared to chew her answer over for a while, so the redhead kept eating, despite the anxious nausea that twisted in her stomach and crept up her throat. The leader wasn't entirely sure why she was trying so hard to cover up her relationship with the odd woman. She supposed it was something to do with not wanting to reveal any weaknesses that someone could possibly take advantage of, but right now, the redhead just didn't want to tell anyone without discussing it with her other half first; at first, Alice had been set on avoiding commitment, refusing to let anyone in. It had taken an age for her to eventually let Claire in and embrace the feelings they had for each other, and the redhead didn't want to risk scaring her away if the blonde wasn't ready for people to know.

K-Mart spoke again, attracting the Redfield's attention again. "I can tell when you look at her. You get this look on your face, kinda proud and grateful, but sorta worried too, as if you think she might disappear at any moment," the blonde paused for a minute to gulp down the sweet, syrupy fruit in the can she still held. Claire silently willed her to go on, needing to hear the rest of the girl's reasons. "And then there's the subtle not-so-subtle touches you guys exchange _all the time_." K-Mart must have noticed that the redhead was about to protest, as she continued quickly. "Yeah, don't think I don't notice those! Friends pat each other on the back, or hug each other around the neck. Friends don't usually gently touch each other's waists or, like, brush hands and stuff."

Claire shook her head, attempting to order her thoughts, but K-Mart kept talking. "It's not just you, you know. I mean, it's not one-sided. Have you seen the way Alice looks at you? And the way she acts around you! She's so closed off from everyone, but when you're there, there's a connection. She trusts you, Claire, even more than Carlos," the teenager said with a smile, becoming more and more sincere as she spoke.

The redhead knew Alice loved her, but hearing how obvious it was to people around them made her heart swell as she realised the strange blonde loved her more than the leader had thought. She felt her cheeks flush, and looked down in an attempt to hide the uncharacteristic blush.

"So are you gonna tell her?" the teenager asked excitedly.

"Tell who what?" a husky voice said as a certain blonde approached them, laying her hands tenderly on Claire's shoulders for a second before lowering herself on to the log. The touch wasn't missed by the younger girl, who met Claire's eyes with a small grin. Shaking her head again, the redhead turned to her secret lover.

"I, uh - it's nothing," Claire stammered, a light flush still covering her cheeks. Alice frowned slightly, more out of concern and confusion than annoyance at being left out. "Really, Alice. It's nothing," Claire reassured her, touching the woman's hand softly and looking at her with sincere eyes full of adoration. The redhead was sure K-Mart had the biggest smirk on her face, however, not a single fibre in her cared to put her right.


	8. Life

Water stirred nearby as Alice lay on her back on soft grass, arms folded behind her head and eyes shut, soaking up the sun. A soft breeze whispered through the few trees that stood nearby, feeling cool against the blonde's bare arms. Voices from the convoy could be heard nearby, and it almost felt as if things were as they had been years ago, before the virus. A corner of her mouth turned up slightly as she heard light footsteps, recognising them as Claire's.

"Out here again?" the redhead asked, coming to a stop just next to the blonde.

"Got nothing better to do," Alice replied. It was true; the convoy was doing pretty well for now, and checks had been taken care of by others. There was a calmness inside her recently that meant she didn't feel the need to work out, fueled by anger and guilt. Sure, she still felt remorse for everything that had happened - nothing would ever take that away - but recently, she felt more at ease with herself. Alice had a feeling that had something to do with the constant love and reassurance of the redheaded leader beside her.

She heard Claire settle down on the grass beside her, and opened her eyes to drink in the beauty of the woman, and then the beauty of the place they found themselves.

They'd travelled up from Nevada to Idaho, where they found a reclusive, marshy area just on the border of Utah. It lay between two large lakes, something that was popular with the convoy members as it meant regular washing was possible. There had been few people living there 'back in the day', and so was relatively safe. Of course, there was the occasional danger from a stray undead - nowhere was sure to be completely safe - but it was just that - occasional.

The bright grass and bushy trees that thrived there could trick you into believing everything was normal, and that somewhere nearby, people were living as people used to - comfortable, taking things for granted, unafraid, actually alive.

"This place is so beautiful. You'd never believe everything else has gone to shit," Claire mused quietly, taking in the lush scenery. Her body hummed in calm happiness.

"Nature always wins out. The human race is a flash in the Earth's history. Humans might die out, but nature will always soldier on," Alice murmured. She reached out and grasped the other woman's hand, entwining their fingers together tightly, tilting her head towards her to watch the redhead, watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed, feeling the warmth of her hand, revelling in how gloriously alive they both were.

Suddenly, an odd honking noise sounded near by, disturbing the quiet serenity, seeming to get closer. It sounded like...no. It couldn't be. She scanned the area quickly with sharp eyes that widened when she spotted the source of the noise.

A flock of geese soared across the bright blue sky in V formation, honking loudly as they flapped their wings. Their plump bodies were covered in clean feathers, not at all soiled by the blood and gore so often seen coating living things since the T-virus hit.

The blonde breathed a throaty laugh, the sight of living things not contaminated by the virus filling her with joy, while finding it ridiculously amusing that what brought her so much joy were geese. She heard the woman beside her laugh softly when she saw it, the sound ringing out beautifully, music to Alice's ears.

"I don't believe it," Claire whispered, a wide grin on her face as the birds glided through the air, swooping in circles and managing to stay in their neat formation at all times.

As the last geese flew overhead and disappeared from sight, the two remained gazing up at the azure sky for a moment, before Claire untangled her hand from Alice's grip, instead taking the blonde's hand in her own and bringing it to her lips, kissing it softly, murmuring against the tough, weathered skin. "Nature soldiers on."


	9. Underestimated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one's cheating slightly, but I loved Claire's fight with the executioner in Afterlife.

A force smashed into Alice, flinging her into the air as if she were just a fly. She hit the wall with a grunt, tile and plaster raining down around her as she hit the ground with a dull thump. One of her sawn-off shotguns spun out of her hand and across the concrete floor, and she went limp.

Through closing eyelids and blurry vision, she saw the monster raise its over-sized axe before turning with a roar as six shots tore through its head and shoulder. _Claire._ The creature turned, swinging its weapon but missing the redhead as she ducked skillfully out of the way. Water exploded everywhere as a thick pipe was sliced in two as if it were butter, and then another and another as the Executioner missed the agile young woman again and again. It was immense and had a colossal amount of strength paired with a lethal weapon, but Claire was faster, cleverer and more agile.

 _Oh god,_ Alice thought anxiously. _She's going to try and fight that thing._ She willed her body to move, to get up and help the redhead, but her body disobeyed her and remained lying pathetically in the dust. For the first time, she almost wished she was still infected, only so she could jump up as if nothing had happened and crush the monstrosity into a bloody pulp. Her eyes slid shut as her weakened body gave in, and all she could think before slipping into oblivion was, _Claire._

Claire ran, not caring about the icy water pouring down on her, making her clothes heavy, not caring about anything in that moment apart from stopping the Executioner, or at least keeping it at bay until Alice recovered. The creature ran after her, heavy footfalls echoing around the bathroom that had now become a fighting ring.

She realised that she was approaching a wall and, following her instincts, she planted her feet against the wall, using the momentum built up by running to fly through the air, flip, and land in a crouch behind the beast. It took a moment to realise where its prey had gone and stood dumbly before turning slowly with a loud grumble, axe raised once more.

The redhead pulled herself up, carefully calculating her next move. One wrong move and she'd be split in two as Kim Yong had been. She internally cheered when she spotted one of Alice's sawn-offs lying abandoned on the floor, and glanced up at the approaching monster once more. She lunged, sprinting forward towards the Executioner, arms moving furiously by her sides.

When she slipped, a spectator might have thought it was a moment of clumsiness, a mistake that might cost her her life, except that she had planned every part of it. She slid along the slick floor and reached for the gun as she passed it. Slender fingers closed around cold, wet metal and swiftly brought the weapon up to aim. Claire fired a slug into the monster's head and flesh and gore exploded from the place the shot had hit, as did a number of small, copper coins. The redhead's lips curled up as she slid between the legs of the creature, realising her brunette friend must have put the coins to use as ammo. _Clever bastard._

The Executioner dropped to its knees and fell forward with a strangled groan, face first into the water settling on the concrete. Turning, Claire looked on at the apparently-defeated monstrosity, not quite believing it had been taken down so easily. Her dripping hair clung to her chest and face and she breathed heavily.

All the while, Alice had come around and had been attempting to get herself together and failing. However, at that moment, she forced herself up. Her entire body ached agonisingly, but she made her way over to the fierce redhead just in time to see that the monster had also recovered and was now upright.

It threw the axe, and it spun impressively towards them. An arm around Claire's shoulders, Alice ducked, pulling the two of them low enough to miss the twirling blade. It embedded itself safely in the wall behind them.

Untangling herself from the redhead, Alice whirled around to face the enraged beast, a sawn-off in her grip. She pulled the trigger, and a well-aimed slug ripped through the neck and head of the creature, blowing its head clean off. Chunks of flesh sprayed the room and the behemoth fell to the ground once more. The two women gazed at the gory corpse for a second before turning to each other.

"I had no idea you were such a badass," Alice murmured with a relieved smile, nudging the redhead's shoulder affectionately.

Claire chuckled, one eyebrow arched. "Neither did I, with the whole memory-loss thing," she said lightly, though bothered by how many of her memories were still missing. It was beyond confusing, especially when incalculable feelings for a certain brunette woman - a woman she apparently had history with - were tossed into the mix.

The brunette resisted the urge to kiss the redhead, not wanting to frighten her away before her memory came back, and instead reached out and tucked a stray hair behind the woman's ear. She could be patient, she decided, if it meant she could have her friend and lover back when the woman's memory returned.

Something flickered in Claire's eyes as their skin met briefly, something like recognition or recollection, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, and was instead replaced by a look of frustration. "We should get going," the redhead muttered, unsure what to do with the feelings that had surfaced due to the brunette's touch, and eager to catch up with the group before they got too far.

Alice's brow creased momentarily before her expression changed into a charming and flirtatious but unreadable one and she extended an arm, gesturing to the hole in the tiled floor. "After you," she purred.

Claire only shook her head in an attempt to hide the smirk on her face, and journeyed into the tunnel.


	10. Love

"So, you and Claire, huh?" the gruff, older Redfield asked. His words were casual, but his tone was suspicious, a threatening warning. It had been a week since they took back the Arcadia, and the Redfield brother had already figured out there was something going on between his little sister and the odd brunette; the prolonged eye-contact, yearning looks and more physical contact than was strictly necessary made it too easy to figure out.

Unwilling to back down, Alice nodded, not looking away from the blade she was sharpening. "What of it?" She and the redhead had made quick progress; Claire's memories were coming back slowly but surely, but even without them, the fierce woman seemed somewhat drawn to the brunette who had found her when she was lost and wandering, wild and rabid.

"You're older than her," he stated, glaring at her, a deep frown etched onto his face.

"So are you," Alice pointed out, putting down the blade and drawing another one, beginning work on that one. She didn't once glance at the displeased man.

Chris faltered. "That's different," he growled. He didn't hate Alice - no, far from it - she just made him nervous; she was dangerous, and could kill someone with the flick of a wrist. Of course, that was a plus when she was on their side, but what if she wasn't? What happened if someone got on the wrong side of her? What would it take to turn her against them? The older Redfield wasn't sure she was the right partner for his sister.

"Is it?" the brunette challenged. "You love her, care about her, right?" The burly man nodded. "So do I, just in a different way," Alice explained, eyes glued to the blade still.

Chris blinked and sat down on a large oil barrel beside Alice. "You love her?"

This time, Alice stopped her movements over the blade, instead putting the blade and whetstone aside and looking at Chris finally. Her eyes flitted away as she was unsure about baring her heart to the man, before deciding to just get it over with; he likely wouldn't let her anywhere near the redhead until he knew she was serious.

Looking him right in the eye, she nodded. "I love her, very much so, and, once upon a time, she loved me too," she said honestly, forcing herself to maintain eye contact as she put her emotions out there for Chris to see. Alice's heart thudded nervously in her chest as she awaited the man's reaction. While she knew he couldn't physically stop her seeing Claire, she knew he had the power to turn the redhead away from her, or threaten the brunette with other punishments.

"How do I know you won't hurt her?" he threw back.

"You don't," Alice said bluntly. " _I_ don't," she continued. "I've done some shit in my lifetime, Chris, and I can't make up for that, or promise it will never happen again." Alice clenched her teeth and glanced down at her hands. "I'm not great at relationships, and I can't promise I'll always do the right thing, but I can promise I'll try my best to do and be what Claire needs," she swore solemnly, looking Chris in the eye again. "I've talked about this with Claire before, and if it's enough for her, that's all that matters," she finished off, staring up at Chris, once again waiting for his reaction.

It seemed like an age before the buff man finally nodded his approval. He was still unsure Alice was right for his sister, but the strange woman seemed to care about his little sis as much as he did. He expected there wouldn't be much he could do to keep the strong-willed women apart anyway. "Alright," he said with a nod. "But if you ever hurt my sister, I _will_ make you pay," he growled threateningly. "I may not be able to take you in a fight, but I have other means."

Alice dipped her head in a sort of nod. "Thank you."

Standing, Chris stared down at her once again. "Don't make me regret it," he grunted, turning away and trudging back inside, leaving Alice alone on the deck once more.

The edges of her lips turned up in a smile before she shook her head and went back to work on the blade.


	11. Frustrated - NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut.

Alice grunted and growled as she swung her kukris and threw vicious kicks and punches at an invisible enemy. Rage and power coursed through her veins, fueling her furious ministrations. She lunged forward, bringing both knives around in front of her, an unavoidable death trap, chopping an imaginary rival in two at the waist.

Still the ache between her legs refused to cease. Alice let out a low cry in frustration, sheathing her knives once more and slumping to the ground at the foot of a tree, her head resting against the thick trunk. She had thought a session with her beloved blades would relieve some of the tension she felt, but she was wrong; it had only proved to frustrate her more, the seam of her shorts rubbing teasingly against her as she moved, sending short bursts of electricity through her body.

She could go to Claire, try to explain her situation and hope the redhead would give her some release - after all, it had been pleasuring the convoy leader that had put her in this state - but she couldn't imagine how to go about it without sounding desperate or crude. If she could just have a while completely alone…but what were the chances of that?

Alice sighed roughly and rested her head on her knees, trying to think about anything but the small moans and grunts the redhead had made and the feel of her soft skin and her hot wetness-

No. _Bad Alice_ , she scolded herself, knotting her long fingers into her messy hair, a long groan escaping her.

"Hey," a voice interrupted. _Oh, fantastic._ Alice grimaced as she recognised the voice to be that of the woman she was trying so hard not to think about. "You ok?" Claire asked, sounding genuinely worried.

 _Of course she sounds worried. She loves you._ Alice lifted her head off her knees and looked up at the redhead, hoping her emotions were not too obvious on her face.

She found Claire peering down at her, her face concerned. The redhead tilted her head to the side and then knelt down in the warm sand in front of the blonde. "Alice?"

"I'm fine," the blonde said quickly, pulling back when Claire rested a hand on her knee. She couldn't have anyone touch her while she was like this - especially not Claire - not unless they would satisfy her ache. She wasn't sure if she could contain herself if the redhead touched her any more intimately.

The redhead frowned, withdrawing her hand. "No, you're not," she replied, knowing something was up. She also knew how Alice liked to pretend she was completely cool and calm, when in reality, a storm surged inside of her. "What's up?"

Alice toyed with the idea of telling the truth, not quite sure if it was the right thing to do. "I'm just - I'm just frustrated," she mumbled, hoping the redhead wouldn't question her further.

But she did.

"Frustrated? About what?" The answer was clear when blue eyes, heavy, dark and burning with emotion - or, more accurately, _arousal_ \- met hers _._ Sage green eyes widening slightly in realisation before the look of surprise was replaced with an almost predatory smirk and wanting eyes.

Alice was now sure she had been found out; the look on Claire's face made it absolutely clear, and she suppressed an excited shudder that threatened to vibrate through her. The lust in the convoy leader's eyes mirrored the lust that had smouldered there not a few hours ago, when they had been situated in the back of the Hummer, clumsy with need; the look that had been in the redhead's eyes when she was so close and Alice had needed to see that look as she pushed her over the edge into bliss.

Scorching wetness pooled between the blonde's legs and she bit back a gravelly groan, instead pulling the redhead into a heated kiss. Their mouths opened almost immediately, and Claire's tongue pushed into her mouth, tasting her. This time, Alice couldn't hold back, and a loud, desperate moan escaped her. She wasn't used to the redhead taking charge, and it really was a turn-on.

Claire pulled back, eyes roaming over the blonde's face; she always looked so collected, but now, her face was slightly flushed, she breathed heavily and her eyes, God, _her eyes._ The lust and desperation in the other woman's eyes made Claire's breath hitch. "Shall we take this somewhere private?" she husked, a hand on the blonde's jaw, their foreheads touching and breath mingling between them.

Alice almost jumped up, pulling the redhead with her. Together, they made their way to the Hummer, trying desperately to look calm and not as if they were about to get down and dirty. The blonde briefly wondered if they should stagger their arrivals to the Hummer before deciding she couldn't wait that long and pushing the idea out of her head completely.

Once in the SUV and safely shielded by locked doors and blacked-out windows, Claire shoved the blonde down on the seat and straddled her hips, pinning her down. She leaned down, hands either side of Alice's head, and initiated a fiery kiss, tongues burning against each other. Another low groan emerged from Alice, muffled by the redhead's persistent mouth. Hands tangled in amazingly soft, rusty hair, pulling the Redfield impossibly close.

Unexpectedly, the blonde flipped them so Claire was sprawled on her back, Alice on top of her, their positions switched. Alice took the redhead's lower lip between hers, teeth grazing just hard enough to light a fire inside her lover without being painful. Slender hips rolled against Claire's in an attempt to ease the agonising ache between Alice's thighs, and the blonde's eyes fluttered shut for a second at the friction. Her head tipped back slightly, breaking the kiss, and her lips parted as she ground against the woman beneath her once more.

In her moment of weakness, she found herself on her back once again, pressed into the leather seat by Claire's unrelenting form on top of her, straddling one thigh.

"No," the redhead growled, holding the blonde's face so she was staring up at her. "I'm in charge."

Alice exhaled roughly as Claire dipped down, her hot tongue licking the most sensitive points of her neck, teeth biting softly at the soft, vulnerable flesh. The blonde's eyes squeezed shut and she puffed out a breath. Heat roared between her legs, the fire growing with every movement of the leader's mouth. God, she was a wreck already. How was she going to cope when she finally got what she'd been waiting for for so long?

The redhead pushed the dirty, white tank top up her ribs to reveal small, beautiful breasts and erect nipples. Her mouth moved lower, the tip of her tongue teasing around one nipple, sending flutters of pleasure and need through the blonde's wired body. Alice's fingers tangled in Claire's hair once again, holding her where she was. The redhead smirked at the usually-stoic blonde's unconcealed desire, but decided to give her what she wanted. Her red tongue snaked out of her mouth again and moved right over the sensitive nipple, drawing a whimper from Alice. She bit down lightly, her other hand kneading the other breast.

Claire's name slipped from Alice's lips, a soft, shaky whisper. Hearing this sent hot desire pulsating all the way down to the damp space between her thighs, and she couldn't help it when her hips rocked against the taut thigh below her.

Alice watched, mesmerized by the sight of her lover pleasuring herself against her thigh. The groan that came from the other woman sounded like music to the blonde's ears, and it only made her even wetter, her sex throbbing hotly. A small, desperate, frustrated noise came from the back of Alice's throat, bringing the redhead back down to Earth.

Claire pushed a toned leg against the apex of the blonde's thighs while still thrusting her own hips, eager to see her release.

The blonde groaned loudly, bucking her hips, trying to gain as much pleasure as possible. The seam of her shorts rubbed against her most sensitive spot as it had earlier, this time assisting her release. The redhead's lips crashed down onto hers, swallowing another of Alice's sensual sounds as they rolled together over and over again.

Claire broke the kiss as she crashed over the edge, hands gripping one of the headrests, her nails leaving marks in the soft leather. She was slightly embarrassed at how quickly she'd reached orgasm, especially as it had only been hours since she had her last one at the hands of the blonde woman beneath her. All she could do, though, was ride out her high, gasping and moaning, and hope it turned Alice on even more.

It did.

Seeing her lover reach her limit and come against her thigh took Alice's breath away. She was sure she would need new underwear after this, her current underwear already soaked through with sweet arousal. The blonde bit her tongue to contain a moan, but it was no use, and the long sound escaped her anyway. She rocked and bucked against the redhead's muscled thigh with a new energy, panting hard. She knew she was getting close, and another low sound rolled off her tongue and she tipped her head back while her hands clawed at Claire's clothes, trying to find purchase on something as electricity coursed through her.

And then Claire was gone. Her thigh no longer pressed against the blonde's sweet spot, and Alice whimpered at the loss of friction, half-sitting up to see why the redhead had moved away. She saw the redhead still between her legs, but her hands were fumbling with the buckles of the belts around the blonde's hips. Undoing them, her hands moved toward the button of Alice's shorts, still trembling from her orgasm. She eventually got it undone, and yanked on the zipper. The shorts fell open, revealing simple, black underwear. Claire lifted Alice's hips and pulled both articles of clothing down to the blonde's knees in one movement, eyes roaming over the blonde spread before her.

Alice groaned as she felt her arousal spread over her inner thighs as she watched the redhead carefully. Claire leaned down slowly, her eyes meeting Alice's. It was then that Alice realised what Claire was going to do. Her breath abandoned her, and she gripped on to the headrest that the redhead had earlier been holding on to for dear life.

The feeling of Claire's tongue making its first stroke across her sensitive, throbbing clit drove her mad. She felt as if she might die, and that feeling intensified as the redhead's wet, rough muscle lapped at her begging nerves again and again. Alice had already been so close and now - oh _God._ Just a few more strokes and -

_Fuck._

She fell over the edge with a throaty growl and a long, sensual groan. She was on her back again, one hand knotting in Claire's hair, the other making more dents in the leather headrest. _God._ Her entire body felt like it was on fire, and she panted roughly as she came harder than she ever had before. Her thighs squeezed against Claire's head, pushing her closer to her wetness as the leader continued her ministrations, licking up the blonde's arousal, sending Alice into a second orgasm before she'd even finished her first.

One leg kicked, colliding with the door and denting it deeply, while Alice's other hand all but crushed the headrest. Her heart banged in her chest, her breathing rough as she came against her lover's tongue. With a final shudder, she was spent at last.

Alice flopped against the seat, breathing hard, and waited for her body to calm down, reveling in the warm, fuzzy feeling that filled her body. It had been a while for her - she had been on her own since the apocalypse - but no one had _ever_ managed to make her come like that before.

Claire moved up the blonde's still-recovering body, kissing Alice slowly, their tongues meeting though there was softness to her kiss. The blonde moaned softly as she tasted herself on the redhead's lips, her tongue. Breaking the kiss, she gathered herself before speaking.

"God, thank you," she murmured, her voice wavering slightly.

"My pleasure." Claire smiled softly in response, running a hand lovingly through Alice's unruly hair. "I love you," she said, looking right into the blonde's blue eyes as she said it.

Alice's lips curled up, and she pulled the redhead in for a chaste kiss. "I love you too," she said huskily.


	12. Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire helps Alice deal with crippling feelings of guilt and shame one night under the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during the early days of Alice and Claire's relationship. This chapter also deals with intense guilty and mentions child death. (Remember Angie?) Warning: Angst.

   "Alice?" Claire asked cautiously as she rested her head against the blonde's warm tummy. She lay perpendicular to the other woman as they gazed up at the stars, Alice's long coat spread beneath them.   
  
   "Yeah?" Alice replied, running a hand through long, red locks, occasionally caressing the redhead's soft face. Both women marveled at the new sensations of one other, and the feeling of love and comfort after so long alone.   
  
   A smile tugged at Claire's lips as she cherished the feeling of Alice's hands touching and exploring her. "If we're doing the honesty thing, can I ask something?" she breathed, careful to keep her tone open and unaccusing so the private woman could decline if she wished.   
  
   Alice hesitated. At last, she decided this relationship wouldn't work as long as she kept everything to herself; she would have to learn to bring her walls down and open up. "Sure," she said quietly, trying to keep her voice from wavering.   
  
   Noticing the slight tremble in the blonde's voice, the redhead threaded their fingers together and squeezed them in what she hoped was a reassuring fashion. "The day you found us, how did you control the fire?"   
  
   At this, Alice cringed internally. She pulled away from the redhead carefully, gently laying the woman's head on the coat instead of herself. The blonde folded her legs under herself nervously and grasped her wrist tightly. The convoy leader sat up too, her eyes meeting the hard, guarded eyes of the woman who’d saved them all not so long ago.  
  
   "Are you sure you want to know?" the rugged blonde asked, hoping the redhead would say no and drop the subject. "You might not like what you hear," she warned. It was true; it wouldn’t be the first time someone had fled from her after learning the truth.  
  
   Claire looked earnestly at her. "Alice, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know. I want to know you,” she said sincerely. “All of you.” The words and the prospect of someone wanting to know all of her made the blonde more anxious, though the redhead felt oddly approachable. Alice felt if there was anyone she could open up to and even be accepted by, it was Claire Redfield.  
  
   The blonde took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright then," she whispered shakily and stared down into her lap, knowing she'd lose her courage if she kept looking at the redhead. "I was captured by Umbrella when the outbreak began. They -” she paused, searching for a word that didn't sound too terrifying - the last thing she wanted was pity - but was unable to. "-Experimented on me." She glanced up at Claire to gauge her reaction, only to find her face unreadable - there was no fear, anger or pity evident on her face, but there was also no trace of acceptance.  
  
   "They infected me with the T-virus," Alice bravely went on, bracing herself for Claire's reaction that she knew would come now she'd dropped that bomb.  
  
   Claire inhaled quickly and frowned. "You're infected?" she cried, not sure what she was feeling. Shock, she supposed, and concern, both for the blonde and the convoy, as well as fear, anger and confusion. Why hadn't Alice told anyone before? Why wasn't she showing any signs of infection? Before she could open her mouth to ask one of the many questioned that brewed inside her, the blonde shook her head and began to speak again, as if she'd predicted the Redfield's reaction.  
  
   "The virus bonded with my blood, gave me abilities rather than turn me into one of the undead," she explained, deliberately avoiding denying it had turned her into a monster. "Super strength, accelerated healing, telekinesis - comic book stuff." Alice searched Claire's face, finding it unreadable once again. "Hence the fire thing," she muttered. The other woman's silence wasn't easing her discomfort even though she recognised that she should give the redhead a moment to deal with this new information.   
  
   "Are you dangerous?" Claire finally asked, looking deep in thought.   
  
   "Contagious? No. Dangerous?" Alice's icy blue eyes flicked nervously as she wished feverently that she hadn't answered Claire's question. "I was built to kill, Claire," she said honestly with a hint of bitterness, cursing herself inwardly as her voice cracked. A fresh wave of self-loathing crashed over her, suffocating and inescapable. Memories of blood, gore, and murder flooded back, and in that moment, she wished she'd been killed down in the Hive before everything really went to shit. The blonde resisted the intense urge to curl up in a ball in the sand and instead forced her back to stay rigidly straight.  
  
   "And yet here you are, saving lives," Claire replied, finally looking at Alice again. She appeared completely and utterly sincere, trying to reassure Alice rather than herself.  
  
   Alice shook her head, slightly annoyed the redhead didn't see it and only carried on comforting the blonde. "I'm a monster, Claire. I killed a child!" she growled. Her stomach twisted sickeningly as she remembered how it had felt to raise the gun to Angela's head, unable to stop herself, how it felt to squeeze the trigger and end the girl's life in a second. The bullet had pierced the little girl's small skull, and blood had spurted messily, and it was at that moment she regained control, just when it was too late. The gun had felt heavy in her hand when she realised what she had done. Clumsy with fear despite her agility, she had fled without a word to her horrified friends.  
  
   "And you saved us, Alice. You saved at least thirty lives," Claire responded calmly. She knew what Alice was trying to do. The blonde saw herself as a monster, a killer, and expected everyone else to as well; the redhead's kindness made her feel confused and unworthy, and she was unwilling to accept comfort because doing so would mean admitting she wasn't the villain. She would have to let go of the guilt, something that felt disrespectful; if she didn't remember and mourn the dead, who would?  
  
   Alice slumped in defeat, unable to keep the emotions at bay any longer. "Claire, I - I _killed_ in cold blood. Umbrella had control of me and I couldn't break free until the last moment and I _shot a child_ ," Alice stumbled over her words as she shook her head in disgust and stared at her hands as if they were stained with blood.   
  
   Claire processed the blonde's panicked words. "Alice, _Umbrella_ killed that child, not you," she insisted, horrified that Umbrella could take control of someone, make them kill a child and leave them to deal with the guilt.   
  
   Alice only shook her head again and ran a hand through her messy hair. "I couldn't stop them, I couldn't stop any of this," she mumbled. The blonde hated herself for letting her emotions take over so easily, but now she couldn't shove them back inside herself and safely lock them away, and they poured out after being repressed for so long.   
  
   "You couldn't stop it. You're an amazing woman, Alice, but it was out of your control and you can't hate yourself for that," the redhead said, taking the blonde's hands in her own and grasping them tightly, bright, smouldering green eyes meeting slightly damp, azure eyes. “Some might even say you’re a hero.”  
  
   Alice exhaled, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill. She wanted to believe Claire, and she knew the leader was right, but she couldn't help feeling as if she should have been able to do something. The blonde pushed down the feelings of guilt and inadequacy that remained, focusing only on the redhead's words, repeating them over and over again in her mind. Alice laid back down on the worn out coat again, exhausted.  
  
   She felt Claire’s comforting weight on her again as the redhead laid next to her, their hands clasped tightly over the blonde’s fast-beating heart, as if to remind them both how human she truly was emotionally, even if not physically. With the leader’s soothing touch, Alice’s frantically thumping heart began to steady. She was temporarily pacified even if they both knew such emotional turmoil would not heal just like that. “I hope you’re right,” the quiet blonde throatily murmured.


End file.
